why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
