So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
