He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
