Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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