I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
