Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
