drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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