i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i think im in europe. pls send help
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize