Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
