just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
