She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
