worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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