sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
