That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
