He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
