5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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