Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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