so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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