Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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