that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
