Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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