Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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