it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
