wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my shit smells like andre
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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