Say something about gay babies.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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