the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
