I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I died a long time ago.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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