smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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