just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
