He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
