You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
