I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think my mom watched the whole time
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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