I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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