I'm going to jail i love you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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