From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
