your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
