I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
