I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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