Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
