Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
