you turned your livingroom into a bong?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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