I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
