It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize