that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
