Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
