I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
