Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If that was your dad, he is hot
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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