I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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