Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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