ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
