you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
