The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize