Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
