I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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