I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
