think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think your dad took our porno
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
