the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
so much tequila, so little girl.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
