Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
