If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize