True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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