It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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