i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize