Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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