I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
