I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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