Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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