She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
