Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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