i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
