I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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