Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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