I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
