Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
