i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
