got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
