We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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