Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
