You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
