took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
